But even those cases, no matter how righteous the cause or how important the need for the Family Court’s involvement, have collateral consequences or damage…and many times, that damage is done to the children. That is why litigation should always be a last resort, not the first call to action.
At Farzad Family Law, we are aggressive and skilled litigators but we recognize that that middle class spouses with middle class incomes and straightforward divorce issues should almost never end up in Court and instead should dedicate their time to mediating their divorce case. Why? Because perhaps the greatest benefit they receive is not just the time, money and stress they save but the positive impact divorce mediation will have on their children.
Put yourself in the place of a child, no matter what age, seeing your parents going through a divorce and you will find confusion, guilt and, often, unhealthy negative emotions. Add to that two parents spending time and money on lawyers battling out issues in Court that could be resolved if the parents would just take the time to communicate and enter into reasonable dialogue and you have children of a marriage who, like their parents, are bombarded with tremendous stress, pressure and anxiety but, unlike their parents, do not often have the adult maturity to cope and handle it.
What does that mean for your kids?
Grades dropping, personality changes, withdrawal from activity, damage to relationships with their own friends and a very real psychological impact. I have seen children become so entangled in their parents’ divorce cases that they start to take on that adversarial nature toward their parents and siblings as if they are also part of this divorce “fight”.
Often, children in a divorce case feel as though they must choose a side, even when the parents are not pushing for that.
I have seen children not only be emotionally and psychologically affected but also entangled in drug or alcohol use or socially unacceptable behavior as a way of coping or being unable to cope with the divorce.
Long term, it is not coincidental that many children that come from divorced families become divorce after their own marriages – but there is one factor missing from that statistic. If you look closely at most of those children who grew up and became adults and entered into their own relationships that resulted in divorce, I bet what you will find is that their parents didn’t just go through a divorce, their parents went through an adversarial one.
Mediate your divorce case and you put your children in a position to avoid much of the unneeded emotional and psychological damage that a contested divorce can cause.
Mediate your divorce case and you teach your children that, even when mom and dad have decided to separate for their own good, they can still put their children first and be a united force in acting consistent with their children’s best interests.
Mediate your divorce case and you protect your greatest asset, one that is irreplaceable and one which will pay dividends long after you and your spouse have finalized your case.
When you are ready to make the right choice, Farzad Family Law is just a phone call away. Contact us today for a case strategy session.